The Grimm File
by Aluis Fyrae
Summary: Asta and Kai Grimm are ranking officers in the scouting legion. Asta's trying to rediscover her humanity after Trost, and Kai is ever trying to make a name for herself and escape the shadow of her sister's fame. [May contain spoilers and the death of your favorite character, beware.]
1. Chapter 1

"Grimm der Gott" - Captain Asta Grimm

I remember not being there and knowing after they were gone that I could have made the difference. At the same time, I thank God that it was only my parents who had died. Adal was only a baby and to this day doesn't realize who it was we lost. Nikolaus and Kai, however, were overwhelmed with grief. I never had the time to face my pain, I was the oldest of four children and suddenly responsible for their future. The following year, my training was completed and I became a soldier in the Scouting Legion. To me, the only important thing was to keep my family safe, even if it meant that I gave up my identity in the process.

I was 19 when Kai joined the Scouting Legion, three years after the appearance of the colossal Titan. The fall of Wall Maria changed the type of soldier you had to be in order to stay alive, but Titans weren't my only enemy. The human capacity for evil served as a grim reminder that we'd be killing each other if the Titans weren't eating us. It wasn't Titans who had killed my parents.

Two Years Later, Present Day

There was nothing I could do but listen to Erwin. He'd gotten it in his head that I couldn't join the 56th expedition beyond the wall, but Adal was sick again and Kai had research to do with Hanji. To be perfectly honest with myself, I was relieved to know she wouldn't be in danger for at least a little while longer. So, I watched as the procession of my comrades rode out towards the gates.

"Captain Grimm?" I looked up, slightly startled to be pulled out of my thoughts, and saluted Erwin, who had yet to get on his horse.

"Sir?" He looked at me a moment, then smiled almost childishly.

"Don't let Kai and Hanji burn the place down, alright?" I nodded, then grinned slyly.

"I'll be sure that they do, sir." My attempt at humor was met with a surprised smirk before he mounted his horse and sped out with the rest of the legion. I looked on until they left my sight, I wouldn't be seeing nearly half of them ever again and I selfishly prayed that it wasn't the comrades I was closest to.

"How's Adal's fever?' Kai peeked her head over a pile of papers, knocking some of them over. She was probably the shortest person in the Legion, and certainly shorter than Captain Levi – much to his delight. It was a popular sentiment for Levi, Mike, Erd, and Petra to pat her head as if she were a child – much to her dismay.

"Fine, it went down and Nikolaus completed his training so he's there watching him for a little while. He should probably be up on the wall with the rest of the Cadets, but having two ranking officers for older sisters probably let him off without an argument."

"With no death threats to his commanding officer, I hope?" Kai eyed me carefully, and I gave in to a smile.

"I don't have to anymore, they already know by now." She rolled her eyes and smiled as well.

"He's lucky he was able to complete his training, with all the times we've pulled him away for various things. How did he do, anyway?"

"Seven of ten, he would have gotten a higher rank if the training officer didn't seem to have it out for me."

"Well, I don't blame him. You hurt his pride when you kicked his ass in front of Nikolaus' class." I laughed, remembering the intimidated look on his face. I was never this carefree in front of anyone else but my family, and some of the people in the Legion, especially Hanji. She had trained me herself, and I had once been under her command before Levi requested me when I was still just a Cadet.

"It's what he gets for mocking me." I yawned a little and leaned back into my seat, the rub bruises around my harness were particularly sore today. I avoided Kai's concerned look by watching Hanji come in with another stack of papers.

"That special ops Erwin had you do with Levi these past two weeks took quite a toll on you, Asta." I looked up to meet Hanji's curious gaze, then her mouth curled up into a twisted smile. "With all that time with Captain Levi, Asta, what could you possibly have done~?" I gaped at her for a moment and Kai erupted into laughter, Hanji started laughing with her and I shook my head.

"Oi, Hanji, how many times have I s-"

"Nobody believes it, you know. You spend so much time with h-"

"He's my friend, Hanji! No different than you or Mike and Petra." She only shook her head, grinning because she knew it bothered me when people assumed I was in some sort of relationship with Levi. I couldn't envision it, he's a good head shorter than me... Awkward.

"So what is Erwin really having you do out there?" Kai gave Hanji a sly glare when she put the new stack of papers on her desk, then looked back at me.

"Unfortunately, I can't say. It's between Levi, Erwin, and myself." Kai only pouted for a moment, then grinned maliciously.

"Maybe I should have a special chat with Er-"

"I'm a soldier, Kai. Just like you or Levi, and I require no special treatment."

"Who would you receive special treatment from?" Crap, Hanji was curious now; always getting into my business like she somehow thought she could live vicariously through me.

"No one, Hanji."

"Hey Hanji, Asta's got a secret love w-" A thunderous crash echoed from outside. Kai and Hanji were quick to run out the door. I went into the next room, grabbed our gear, and followed them outside.

"My God..." Before us stood a frightening image; the colossal Titan had appeared once more.

I had never been so nervous before, but it wasn't for myself. Our house lay near the gates of Trost. I looked over at Kai and my own worries were reflected in her eyes. Hanji had gone to send a word to the Garrison Commander, Pixis, to ensure that the plan they had made after the fall of Wall Maria was effectively carried out. As we flew passed the gates, we saw a Cadet on the wall launch himself at the colossal Titan. I was only glad it wasn't Nikolaus.

"Kai, we're the only ones aside from Hanji here from the Scouting Legion. After we get Adal evacuated, you may act as you see fit to help the rear guard when the Titans come through, so long as Nikolaus stays with you." She looked over at me for a moment, then nodded.

"Yes, sir."

I launched myself at a ten meter class Titan that had found its way through the broken gates already, spearing its mouth and swinging around to cut out the nape of its neck. Without a second thought I moved onward toward the house, which was now in sight. Kai landed on the roof first then jumped down onto the street and into the house just as I slide down onto the roof nearby and kept watch. Just as she got out of the house with the boys, a deviant type propels itself at us and crashes into the house. Kai and the boys fly forward from impact, Adal in the air and screaming. This moment was the slowest I had ever seen, almost as if my six year old brother was just floating there. Next thing I know, I jump up and spear the Titan in the arm as it started to get up, and use that momentum to swoop down and catch Adal. I disengaged from the Titan and attached to a wall and lowered us to the street just as Kai and Nikolaus got the their feet.

"Kai, the Titan!"

"Got it!" Kai hooked onto the Titans back, and in a flurry of auburn hair and green cloak, she was back on the street as the Titan collapsed behind the house. I looked over and Nikolaus was scared stiff.

"Nikolaus!" I walked up to him and put my free hand on his shoulder, smiling reassuringly. He turned his head and looked me in the eyes. "We're here Niko, it's okay. Everything will be alright." I saw him relax a little as he got a grip on himself.

"Niko, watch out!" I looked up and another, smaller, deviant type Titan was running towards us. I felt panic when Niko tried to use his gear, only to find he had broken it in the fall. I quickly shove Adal into Niko's arms and fly up, spinning around as I attached to a lower wall and cut out a chunk of flesh from the Titan's neck. Just as I landed on the ground, I heard them. The loud rumbling of about twenty Titans heading right for us.

"Kai, get them out of here!" I flew up and downed the closest Titan to us, and landed on the roof just above them, to see Kai run to Niko and Adal.

"I'm not leaving you here, Asta!" I glared down at her.

"Get them to the wall or I will never forgive you!" I jumped off the roof, moving up onto the next closest Titan. I could see just as it fell to the ground, that Kai was staring at me. "Go!" I saw the tears fall from her eyes as she grabbed Adal and then Niko, hoisting them over her shoulders and fly off. I could only hear Adal's cries.

"Asta!"


	2. Chapter 2

"Kai! Go back for her, please!" Nikolaus was screaming, slamming his fists against my back. My tears fell off my face as I went onto Wall Rose. My landing was sloppy and I dropped Niko while trying to make sure Adal landed on his feet. Then, my knees buckled and I slumped to the floor.

"God Dammit, Asta!" I slammed my fists onto the ground, causing them to bleed a little, and the tears just poured from my eyes.

"Asta!" Niko screamed again, throwing off his broken gear and letting it fall to the ground. Adal rushed to me and tugged on my cloak. I wiped my eyes and looked over at him.

"Why sissy stay? Why not go with us?" I couldn't give him any comforting words, and I just hugged him. My family is breaking again. Not again...

I was snapped out of my misery by a hard punch to my jaw. I rubbed my cheek and looked up at Niko.

"Don't you dare close us out like you did when mom and dad died! Get your ass out there and help Asta!"

"You don't understand, do you? Not even Captain Levi could down twenty 15-meter class Titans. There's nothing I can do!"

"Bullshit!" Niko was angrier than I had ever seen him before. He pulled a Garrison soldier aside and looked him dead in the eyes. "I need new gear, my comrades are out there and need my help." I looked at both of them for a long moment, was there a chance for Asta? With all her skill, was it enough to get out of there alive? The soldier peered over at me as I got up and saw the emblem on my cloak. He unsnapped his own gear and handed it to Nikolaus.

"I have one more request of you, could you take my brother to the pub just down the road from here? A friend of ours lives there and keep him safe for us." The soldier nodded and picked Adal up from the ground.

"Go get 'em" And with that, the soldier was off and down the stairs to safety.

It was a little strange for me to be flying through the air with Niko, but I couldn't focus on that. Asta needed us, and I had to believe that against all odds, she was still alive. Peering down, we could see the scattered dead and severed pieces of the poor Cadets sent to aid Trost. I looked back at Nikolaus and his determined, if not furious expression somehow assured me he would make it through this. We made it to the shattered remains of our house and we saw that the whole area had been decimated.

"Kai, you should look at this." Shit, his voice seemed off and it made me worry. I walked over and he picked up Asta's abandoned gear. All the blades were gone, and the triggers had been cut from the wires. Asta could be alive, somehow. Niko checked the gas containers, and they were depleted. She had fought hard.

"Where do you think she would have gone?" Niko tossed the gear back onto the ground and went up on the roof with me. He thought she had to be alive, too.

"HQ is the only place she could go, to get new gear." I pointed in the direction of the HQ building, and we could see several Titan heads moving just over the rooftops, surrounding it. "Asta will either be there soon or have already been there. But either way, we should help the other Cadets."

"What about Asta then?"

"We need to make sure we help the Cadets, it looks like we're the only ones left and they're probably either low or out of gas by now." I looked sternly at him to ensure he didn't fight me about it again. We had a duty to our fellow soldiers and to humanity, as much as we loved her, Asta was on her own right now.

From there, we made our way towards HQ and stopped not far from it on a random rooftop. In all my life, I could never imagine seeing what was now happening right before my eyes.

"That Titan is only attacking other Titans!" I look on in complete bewilderment, then I noticed there was a training Cadet on the ground, uninjured and seeming to be just as surprised as we were. "That's Mikasa! Weird, I don't see Eren anywhere." Just before either of us could do anything, another Cadet swooped down and picked her up off the ground, bringing her back up to the roof across from us. There was another Cadet there as well. Nikolaus jumped off the roof and swung onto the roof they were on, I quickly followed.

"Connie, Armin, Mikasa!" Nikolaus called out to them as he walked towards them.

"Nikolaus? We all thought you were dead, we couldn't find you anywhere!" Niko seemed pleased that they had worried about him and smiled.

"I was with my sisters, Armin. Guys, this is Major K-"

"Major Grimm? The 'Blade of Fury' from the Scouting Legion?" Armin was all in a fuss, and Nikolaus beamed proudly as he nodded. I felt a little embarrassed, Asta got this kind of thing all the time but I don't see why she doesn't like it, I know I do.

"Nikolaus, you said 'sisters'?" Niko's smiled faded and he nodded grimly.

"Yes, Connie. Our sister, Captain Grimm" A small squeak of excitement came from Armin again and I wanted to laugh despite the seriousness of the issue at hand. "Stayed behind and faced twenty 15-meter class Titans" Armin and Connie gasped as Niko said this, but the girl looked unphased.

"We know she's alive, her gear ran out of gas and she abandoned it, taking the blades and triggers with her."

"That makes it more likely that she is dead." Mikasa had the look of loss on her, and it seemed she blamed herself for it. I sympathized.

"We can't accept that. We know she's headed for HQ, just as you are, correct?"

Connie and Armin nodded.

"Mikasa ran out of gas already, and Armin and I are both low." Connie looked seriously at me and Niko, "Do you have a plan to get there?"

I looked at Niko and he started to discuss different ideas with Armin and Connie. Mikasa and I exchanged a look, and somehow she seemed very capable. I looked behind her and I could see a group of Cadets trying to run head on through a group of Titans to get to HQ.

"Nikolaus, stay with your friends. I'll see you at HQ." With that, I jumped off the roof and swung around towards the group of Cadets. I managed to down three Titans that were coming towards them on my way to the group, and another to save a Cadet before he got eaten. I determined the one in front was leading them, so I matched my speed to his.

"You guys looked like you needed a little help."

"I've got everything under control." He then glanced over at me and saw the Scouting Legion wings on my cloak, scoffing a little. I frowned.

"I just saved your ass from four Titans heading this way!" I launched forward, cutting down another Titan and crashing through a window and into the HQ building. The Cadet came in just after, and I turned to look at him. "And add another to that. The least you could say is thank you!"

"No one else has bothered to help the Cadets! How about you go back up on the wall and leave us here to die!" Just as he said that, the rest of his group come crashing in, and thanked me by either nodding or walking past and touching my shoulder. I turn my gaze back to the Cadet.

"How about you stop worrying about your damn pride and concern yourself with the safety of your comrades?" Apparently, this shut him up. Another Cadet walks up to him, a little out of breath.

"Thanks to you Jean, I'm still alive." The other Cadet walked up to me and saluted me. "And thanks to you all my comrades are safe."

"Marco, you d-" Jean was interrupted when I clasped a hand on Marco's shoulder and smiled.

"Maybe 'Jean' could learn from you, hm?" Marco seemed a little embarrassed, but returned my smile.

It was another minute or two before Mikasa, Armin, Connie, and Nikolaus came in through another window. Armin tumbled onto the floor by my feet, smiling.

"We made it! That one Titan followed us and is killing the Titans around the building!" I hold out my hand and help Armin to his feet and smile grimly.

"Maybe that will help Asta get somewhere safe, hm?" Armin nodded and I looked out the window to see the odd Titan strike down another."And maybe help us get the hell out of here, too." At that moment, Jean comes back into the room and I started to notice that all the Cadets were looking to me for our next move.

"There are seven Titans down where the supplies are, how are we supposed to get to more gas there?" Jean looked frustrated and leaned against the doorway.

"Seven? There was ten when we had to abandon it." I turned my gaze to young female Cadet.

"There were ten? Are you sure?" She nodded, and I could tell she was by the serious look in her eyes. I relaxed a little. I only know two people who could kill more than one Titan without gear on, and that was Asta and Levi. I turned to pat Niko and Armin on the back. "These guys are the best to figure out these kinds of plans. I'll be back soon, I'm going to check the supply floor since I still have gas."

As I left the room I heard Jean ask "How can we trust that thing out there? A Titan is still a Titan..."

I reached the lift and pushed the lever to go down. As soon as there was room, I went up onto the banisters and looked down into the room. The shelves where extra gear was kept was a wreck and covered in blood. The trail of blood led to on top of a gas tank, where the hose was still sitting. There was a fallen banister near the doorway to outside. I always knew Asta was as tough as it gets, but I could never have imagined that she had such a strong will to live. Would I have lasted as long as she has?

The battle for Trost was a serious blow to humanity, it seemed as if everyone had lost a loved one, a friend, or a comrade. It turned out that the odd Titan that essentially saved our asses at HQ was a young Cadet named Eren Jaeger, a friend and comrade of Nikolaus'. If a human can turn into a Titan and can control it, then I pray that this Eren kid can save us.

Asta was never found during the battle, and when the rest of the Scouting Legion arrived to aid in ridding Trost of Titans after the gates had been sealed by Eren, everyone searched for her. Desperately. In all honesty, I don't think that Commander Erwin has given up yet. As a last resort, Niko and I decided to help clear out the corpses from the streets of Trost, both hoping and dreading we could at least have a body to bury.

"She could just be injured, Kai" Niko was trying to keep faith, but I could see it was failing. "Where would she go, that she knows we would find her?"

I didn't want to get my hopes up, but I started thinking of various places in Trost that she would decide to go, somewhere I would know. There was a wishing well that she loved to take Adal to, but it was in an open area and not realistic for hiding. When our parents died, she used to climb up on the bell tower near the gate to Wall Rose and look out at the horizon as far as she could see... That was it, the bell tower. It wasn't far from HQ, and since she either ran out of gas or her gear was damaged in a fight, she would have gone there to hide from Titans.

"I think I know where she could be hiding, Niko." I started to run off towards the bell tower, and he followed close behind. He was silent for a minute.

"The bell tower." I nodded, it was also somewhere she had promised me she would never go again, but given the circumstances, it was the best way to survive. I sent a quick prayer to whatever cosmic power was up there, and decided to hope that she was alive still.

It took some time by foot, and when we tried opening the door it was locked. Really Asta? Like Titans can open doors. Niko and I both kicked the door in, knocking it off its hinges. I took a moment to see my brother in a new light. Was he always that strong? He ran into the building and I followed shortly behind.

"Asta! Are you here?!" There was a few moments of silence, and then the slight scuffling of boots from the room above our head. It got darker as we went up the stairs, and when we finally made it up to the next room we couldn't see anything at all. There had to be a window, right? Apparently Niko had been thinking the same thing and started feeling along the wall for a window. When he found it he pushed it open and we both looked to the middle of the room. I nearly screamed. Asta was there, bloody and bruised and breathing.

"I knew you guys would find me sooner or later."

"How is she, Kai?" I turned to see the alarmingly blue eyes of Commander Erwin nearly at my face. I saluted rather half-assed and fortunately it was ignored.

"She's damn lucky to be alive, sir."

"Are her wounds serious?" Levi's head poked out from behind Erwin. If that man could have a worried expression, what I was seeing on his face now would be the closest thing.

"Several broken ribs, looked like she was grabbed by a Titan. There's a deep wound running up her back to the left of her spine. If it had been just a little more over to the right, she would have died. She's got a gash going up her right arm to the nape of her neck and a head injury. The doctor said she should have a full recovery."

"My God, what hell was she put through?" Erwin seemed much more concerned than I would have thought a Commander would be for those under his command, but I felt obliged to answer a senior officer regardless.

"According to several eye witness accounts, sir, I believe I can tell nearly everything that happened to her." Erwin nodded and Levi stood beside him. I sighed, I had gone over these events in my head a million times and still it seemed surreal that she survived all of it. "When Trost's gates were breached, Asta and I had gone to our house near the gate to evacuate our brother Adal who was sick and wouldn't be able to go anywhere on his own. However, the Titans came pouring in, in large numbers. We were surrounded by about twenty 15-meter class Titans and she stayed behind to ensure we got away safely by taking on the entire group of them." Apparently I had captured their attention, and Levi looked pretty surprised for... well, Levi.

"She succeeded in eliminating all the Titans, fortunately none of them were deviants, but not without an injury to her head and running out of gas at the end of it. She took the last two blades and cut the triggers from the wires to ensure she had some sort of weapon, and ditched her empty gear. I assume it would make it difficult to hide in small spaces with her gear on." Both Levi and Erwin nodded. Levi made a quick glance into the room behind me where Asta was, and regard her with what seemed a mix of respect and pride for his former pupil. "From there, she heads towards HQ. I can't imagine it was easy sneaking past all the Titans that were surrounding the building, but she got into the supply floor, grabbed new gear, filled the gas canisters, and killed three Titans. One of the Titans she had downed crashed into a banister, knocking it down. That's when she received the cut from her neck and up her arm, when she tried dodging it." I had to take a moment to calm down, there was no way I was going to cry in front of my Commander. They noticed, but they left it alone. At least they understood how this could be difficult for me.

"From there she helped a few groups of Cadets left in Trost, and while saving one of them she was grabbed and nearly crushed by a Titan. Another Cadet cut the arm off of the Titan and Asta was freed. She's responsible for saving the lives of over twenty Cadets, both training and from the Garrison." I felt proud to say it, she had saved lives even as she was bleeding out. "She covered the rear to ensure that the Cadets got over the wall safely and got smacked into a wall by a deviant type. She sustained another injury to the head, and the gash along her back is from a hook in the wall." I had to stop myself from imagining the amount of pain she had to have gone through, and I look up at Erwin and Levi, they had shivered at the thought.

"Her gear was broken in the fall, and she somehow went on foot to the bell tower, climbed up the stairs, and waited. Miraculously without bleeding to death as she did."

"She just waited, knowing you guys would find her?" I nodded, and realized what Levi was pointing out. Her faith in us was outstanding. The two were quiet for a very long few minutes, before Erwin finally had the stomach to say anything.

"Could I go in and see her?" I nodded, a little bothered by the fact that he had asked me for permission to do something. I watched as he closed the door behind himself, and just before he did, I heard him ask "Asta?"


	3. Chapter 3

"Asta, no, don't go up there." I marched furiously up the steps to the commander's office, deciding not to just ignore Kai.

"I dare you to stop me." That was enough to make Kai stop in her tracks and stay at the foot of the stairs. I quickly reached the top and barged into the room. I didn't know what kind of trouble I could get into, but I couldn't have cared less. Without knocking, I barged into the room, both Levi and Erwin stood up and both surprised to see me.

"Asta..?" Levi gave me the 'don't you fucking dare' look that used to intimidate me when I was a Cadet, but I returned with a glare that made him turn his head to avoid it. I walked up to Erwin, who was a good foot or so taller than me, and punched him square in the jaw.

"Keep your affections away from my sister, Commander!" Erwin looked up at me, completely bewildered, looking at Levi for some kind of help. Levi shrugged and started to walk out of the room.

"I'm useless against a woman's scorn, sir." Erwin smiled a little, rubbing his very sore cheek as Levi closed the door behind himself. Suddenly, I felt embarrassed by my behavior. Fuck, I just decked my commander.

"This is what it takes, then?" Erwin looked at me with an expression I wasn't too sure about, and it was certainly not one I had ever seen on his face before.

"Excuse me?" I was starting to feel anxious about it and I was pretty clueless as to why.

"To be completely honest, Miss Grimm, I wasn't entirely sure it would work since nothing else has." He leaned against his desk and crossed his arms, keeping that expression on his face. Was that... No.

"I'm not entirely sure what you mean, sir." I felt my face flush and started getting angry with myself, what was going on with me? Erwin smiled slyly and shook his head,

"Do you recall when you challenged me to hand to hand combat, while you were training Cadets a few years back?"

Crap, I had wanted to show the Cadets how to use size to their advantage just as Commander Erwin walked by, I was surprised I had the nerve to ask him at all but I was completely taken aback by the fact that he had agreed at all. Now that I think about it, I had embarassed him in front of at least a dozen Cadets and probably hurt his pride a little. I didn't really want to say anything on the matter, so I only nodded.

"I told myself when I joined the military that I couldn't fall in love with a female soldier, I would suffer many heartaches because everyone around me always got killed." He looked at me again, but his expression changed to something different. What was he thinking? And, why the hell was he telling me this? "So, when I got my ass handed to me by none other than you, Miss Grimm, I had a sort of wake up call. You were completely unashamed and comfortable with your strength. It's your confidence in your abilities that I find particularly..." He paused for a long moment, and it made me realize I had been holding my breath. "Beautiful." What?

I felt my face get hot as I just stared at him. There was no way he just said that, is there? It was at this moment that I remembered something Hanji had said to me once; "_Asta if you keep this cold heart routine going, you'll become some kind of mindless drone. Love a little."_

I think its now that I realize what she meant. Then, it dawned on me. It was Erwin who had given me flowers whenever Adal was sick, he was the one who fixed my gear when I couldn't do it and left it for me in my office the next morning. Did he stay up all night doing that? He sent Levi with me on those Special Ops, his best man, to make sure I was safe. I looked up at Erwin, determined to thank him for all that but I was caught up in the startling blue of his eyes. He had moved closer to me.

"Miss Grimm?"

"Y-yes?" God, did I just stutter? He smiled in amusement and reached for my hand, lacing his fingers with mine. My skin tingled when he rested his other hand against my cheek, his fingers in my hair. Despite all the confusion I felt, my body put up no resistance, like it craved to be near him. I look into his eyes again, he mumbled something but all I could do was see the fire in the icy blue. After all those times I just ignored the gifts and flowers, why would he keep trying?

"Sometimes when I sent those flowers to you, I would have cards attached to them telling you how I really felt about you." How did he know I was thinking about that? "But every time you had them tossed out."

I blushed again, it hadn't even come to mind that it was meant as a romantic gesture. I felt as if I had been blind before, or was it always this obvious. Levi had to know, didn't he?

"Asta. I don't give up. I had to have you, no matter what the cost. I never had intentions for your sister but it was the only way I could think of to get your attention." He touched his bruising jaw, "I never thought you would hit me..." He smiled again. "But, I'm willing to take all the abuse in the world just to tell you this." I pulled away from him and looked toward the door. My face was hot again.

"Sir, I think I should probably go." I started to reach for the door, but I was pulled back to him and before I could protest, his mouth was on mine. God, what a glorious heat! I felt him pulling me in closer, and just before I could lose my head, he lets me go.

"Something to think about, Captain. I'll have your answer when we return from beyond the wall." He seemed confident and magnificent now, or had he always been that way?

I bit my lip and walked out the door, nearly slamming it shut behind me. I rushed down the stairs past Levi and Kai, and down the hall until I'm outside breathing fresh air again.

I opened my eyes to a dim lit room, my entire body in some degree of agony. It was only a moment before I remembered everything I went through, and having to lock myself in the bell tower... I screamed out and sat up a little only to feel the sharp pains going up my back and my arm. My head throbbed a little, but I held out my arms and my feet to make sure all limbs were attached. Thank you, cosmic power, they're there! Before I could think of anything else, I heard the sound of boots coming closer and suddenly I was surrounded by Nikolaus, Kai, and my closest friends. Nikolaus and Kai were practically in my face, asking me if I was okay over and over again. I shooed them back a little and nodded.

"I'm fine." I looked directly at Kai, "Adal?" She nodded and smiled, and I was nearly overwhelmed with relief.

"How are you feeling, Captain?" I looked over and saw Petra.

"Well I'm not dead, and all my limbs are here. I'd say I'm in great shape, guys!" I smiled like some fool and Kai pressed her hand to my forehead and grinned.

"I think the fever's gotten to her head, guys." Everyone laughed a little and I rolled my eyes. I looked at Erwin, who seemed so deeply concerned that I blushed a little, only to have Hanji notice and wink at me.

"In all seriousness, Asta, how are you feeling?" Levi's ultra-calm demeanor had broken a little just to let me know how much he cared, I smiled warmly before sitting up all the way. Fortunately for me, I was wearing a tank and pajama shorts, most likely courtesy of Kai. I slowly got out of bed, the shorts hiking up just enough to make a show of how intense the harness bruising was around my legs. I stood on the ground and reaching my left arm over to gently trace my fingers along the gash going from my elbow to the nape of my neck. That one would heal quickly enough, but it will leave a nasty scar; the banister did a real number on me. I turned so they could see, I heard a gasp from Petra, Hanji and Kai, and when I looked over, the guys were wincing. I lifted the back of my shirt best I could, doing my best to not show the pain I felt when I moved. I have broken ribs, I could tell that much. Hanji stepped in and held up the back of my shirt, and there was nothing but silence for a very long couple of minutes. I felt Hanji gently trace her fingers down the length of the gash on my back, and I looked down at the floor, my eyes tearing up a slight. It was an awful wound, I can handle most scars, and I have plenty, but this practically disfigured me. Some of my tears fell to the floor as Hanji let my shirt down.

"How the hell are you able to stand?" Levi's voice sounded surprised, and I only shrugged. I couldn't talk right now, and let them know I was crying. They weren't supposed to see this side of me, not the 'Grimm der Gott', right?

"I need a few minutes, guys..." I never turned around to face them, but I heard them all leave the room and close the door quietly behind them. I turned around expecting to see no one, but instead I saw the blue eyes. A few more tears fell from my eyes and he looked so sullen, so relieved, and so worried all at once. A complex man, who was really quite simple if you thought about it. I looked away from him. My Commander, of all people, should not see his soldiers when they are weak.

"I can still fight, it won't take much time before I can get back on the f-"

"I don't care about that, Asta." I looked up at him again, surprised. He doesn't care? More tears fell from my eyes and then I was in his arms. I cried harder than I ever had in my life. I cried for everything; I cried in relief, I cried in pain, and I cried in grief. I don't know how long I cried but Erwin never complained, he didn't say a thing, he knew all I needed was a shoulder to cry on. When I stopped crying, I felt lighter. I looked up from his tear stained shirt and wiped my eyes.

"You said you wanted an answer when you got back..."

"Asta, you don't have to answer me r-"

"At first, I didn't know what the question was, but when I was in the Bell Tower nearly certain I was going to die there, I felt lonely. I have my brothers, and my sister but somehow it doesn't fill the hole I've had in my heart." Erwin smiled a little, wiping a stray tear from my cheek.

"Then what is your answer, Asta?" His eyes were gentle and felt like I would burst with how much I felt for him, what I had always secretly felt.

"I need you to fill this hole in my heart, and I think you knew you were the only one who could see it." My reward for such complete honesty was Erwin's heart melting kiss, and everything I didn't want to feel just disappeared.

"Are you sure about this, Asta?" His voice sounded concerned, but I just nodded. Right now he was acting the role of a lover, when I really needed him to be my Commanding Officer. I took a deep breath as I looked down, then closed my eyes and dropped down. I opened my eyes just before I hit the ground and hooked onto the closet tree, narrowly missing Erwin who had been ready to catch me. I yelled out in excitement and weaved between trees, probably doing more spinning and flipping than was necessary. But, when in doubt, spin!

"Asta!" I looked over at Erwin, the alarm in his voice frightened me and I missed hooking onto the next tree and started to fall. Before I could panic, his body crashed into mine as he had swung up to catch me. I looked up at him, then hit a fist against his chest.

"What the hell was that about? You scared the daylights out of me!" He lowered down to the ground and put me on my feet gently, then moved away to recall his hooks. He turned and looked at me seriously. Crap, here was the Commander I wanted earlier but now he didn't look happy.

"Are you telling me you didn't feel that at all?!" His tone was rifled with worry, and I felt ashamed for some reason. He always had the knack of making me feel like a child who had done something wrong. I shook my head, honestly confused. He sighed and pulled me into his arms, being careful of my back, and kissed my forehead. "You need to be more careful, you pulled your stitches again."

It was then that I noticed the blood on his arm where he had cradled my back.

I decided to peel off the over shirt I was wearing, it hurt a little to pull it off over my head and it didn't get past Erwin that I had winced. He helped me pull the shirt off the rest of the way, leaving me in half-cut undershirt and making me blush a little. I turned so he could mop up the wound with the shirt. He didn't do anything for a few minutes, so I turned my head back a little just as he started tracing his fingers along the stitches, running from my shoulder to the small of my back. I looked away and down at the ground, feeling the prickling of tears forming in my eyes.

"I wish I could see it..." As soon as I spoke, he started to dab it with my shirt.

"Why would you want to see it?" There must have been only a little bleeding, because he stopped touching me altogether. I shook my head and sighed, turning to look up at him. He had a new expression on his face, another one I had never seen on him. I raised an eyebrow and was about to ask what the look was for, but he stopped me before I could by kissing me. This kiss was different than the others, it felt needy and wanting. His hand unbuckled the harness at my chest, and the straps slipped off to my sides. It took me awhile to realize I was barely breathing, and I pulled away from him just a little so I could catch my breath.

"You shouldn't be out here so soon, Asta." We both jumped and looked over to see Levi. I blush brightly and Erwin took his hands off me, clearing his throat. Levi eyed the bloody shirt in the grass beside us and looked at me more seriously. "You _really_ shouldn't be out here so soon." Well, in his own way, at least he cared.

"I just got carried away and did too much. It's been a week already, I was getting antsy." My defense was weak, and Levi just looked at me. I frowned and crossed my arms, successfully hiding that it hurt to do so. Levi turned his attention to Erwin and almost looked angry.

"You know as well as anyone else that she shouldn't be out here for at least another two weeks. She took more damage to her body than I have ever seen someone live through." He shot me a look when he saw I was about to protest, then I started to realize that he was actually scolding our Commander, too. You've got quite a pair, Levi. Then he looked at the shirt again. "That shirt is filthy, you need to clean it." Despite everything he had said and the serious tone of the scolding, I wanted to burst out in laughter. Levi, the clean freak. I certainly don't miss all the cleaning I had to do when I was in his squad. A slight snicker escaped me and my heart dropped when Levi's expression matched that of a serial killer.

"Sorry, I had to sneeze." I looked away and rubbed my nose to make it a little more believable. Levi exchanged a look with Erwin, and then walked off. Geez, mood killer. I sighed a little in relief once he was out of sight and looked over at Erwin. Oh man, what did Levi do? He looked upset with himself. "Hey, don't put it on yourself that I got a little hurt, okay?"

"The whole reason you were hurt this badly in the first place was because I wasn't able to get back fast enough." Oh man, he felt that responsible for it? I reached up to kiss his cheek, then rest my head against his arm.

"The reason why I got hurt was because I dumb enough to do things on my own, to take on challenges that were too much for me. Of course, if I were given the chance to do things differently..." I smiled a little, "I would only make sure I had spare blades and gas canisters stowed away in my basement." Erwin looked down at me, and despite himself, smiled. I'm not half bad in the comfort department. I yawned a little, unable to hold it back, and snapped off my new 3DMG. Before I could do anything else, Erwin picked me up and started to carry me. I decided not to argue, and before I knew it I had fallen asleep.


	4. Chapter 4

I opened my eyes and I was in the hospital bed again. I sat up and yawned, stretching as much as my wounds permitted and got out of bed. I looked down. When did I change into shorts? I blushed and shook my head, no way Erwin did it. It was probably Kai again, and I was grateful either way. Pants in general irritated the slight swelling around my harness bruises. I guess when you're flung around like some rag doll, it's bound to leave marks. I took a deep breath, I would have to figure something other than a hospital room for my family to live in, since our house was destroyed. Until it can be fixed, we were homeless. I pulled away the curtain around my bed and saw Nikolaus reading a book. He looked up and smiled at me.

"You're picking which brigade to join tonight, aren't you?" I reached up and pulled my hair back into a loose ponytail, just to get it off my face. Nikolaus nodded.

"I've decided on the Scouting Legion." My heart dropped. When the hell did that change? He was all happy about joining the Garrison for the longest time, and I was looking forward to not having to worry about another sibling during the missions beyond the wall. I sighed and leaned against the wall next to him.

"What made you decide that, Niko?" I looked at him seriously, knowing I couldn't change his mind for him.

"The way you and Kai were when the wall was breached in Trost. You were completely calm. And look at what you survived!" He looked at me the way everybody looks at me or Levi, with innocent admiration and celebration of our heroism. I looked down at the ground and only nodded. "Look, sis, I know its not all fun and fame, but I want to make myself into something tougher, something stronger than I am now." I eyed him carefully and shook my head.

"Niko I won't tell you not to join, and I won't tell you that you should. Commander Erwin won't tell you, either, but I want you to think seriously about the deaths of the comrades you lost in Trost. How many friends did you lose? Hell, you almost lost me, your sister." Niko's expression turned a little sad as he thought about the corpses he had helped to clean out of the streets of Trost, and how much he was denying that I could have been dead. I nodded. "Take what you are feeling now, imagine multiplying it by a hundred and feeling it consistently."

His expression was one of despair, and I patted him on the shoulder lightly. "If you are willing to go through _that_ to be stronger, then by all means, join the Scouting Legion." He was silent for a long time, so I got up and started to walk out of the room.

"If that's what it's really like, why do you do it, Asta?" His voice seemed serious again, and I knew he had decided for certain. I looked back at him for a moment, and I felt almost the same as I used to when I was a Cadet.

"To be strong enough to keep the ones I love safe."

The next week was generally uneventful, aside from moving to an old Scouting Legion castle and the recruits. Nikolaus, Connie, Armin, Mikasa, and the Eren kid joined our ranks, along with a few others from Nikolaus' class. For the most part, the kids just studied the formation for our new mission out beyond the wall. I fought with Erwin several times about letting me assemble a team for the mission and actually go on this one, but this time Levi backed me up.

"Captain, Commander wants you in his office." I looked up at Petra, who had a sly smile on her face. I rolled my eyes and got up from the table, which upset Armin and Connie, who spent the past hour asking me different questions about my past experience. Since Levi would never talk to them, I thought I might as well but it was starting to get a little embarrassing. As I walked past Petra in the doorway, she whispered in my ear.

"I think little Armin's got a crush going for you, Captain." I laughed a little and shook my head, going up the stairs. I knocked on the door, then walked in. Levi was in the room and Erwin was sitting at his desk.

"Captain Grimm, good. Have a seat." Erwin was formal, so it must have been about business. I sat down beside Levi and leaned back a little, grateful to sit on something other than a wood bench. "Levi's put in a request that needs to be approved by you before it can happen. Actually, he's put in two requests."

"Oh? What are they?" I looked from Erwin to Levi.

"I'm requesting Petra Ral and Erd Gin. I've been impressed by the way you've trained them and how they have developed their skills. I could use them on the Special Ops team." Oh, a compliment from Levi? I felt like he may have been intentionally stroking my ego, but at the same time he wouldn't tell me something that wasn't true just to get what he wanted. It would be a shame to lose Erd and Petra on my team, since I've already lost Kai to a promotion and Auruo, who had decided to put the request in to Levi before the last mission beyond the wall. I nodded.

"While, of course, I'll miss them. I am also happy that they have this opportunity. It's fine with me. However, you should ask them yourself." I looked over at Erwin, who was sure I would say no about Petra. I knew she admired Levi, and if she got this invitation from Levi herself, she would be delighted and I was happy for her.

"In that case, I will. Thank you, Asta." Levi walked out of the room and closed the door behind him. I got up from my seat with the intention to do the same.

"Captain Grimm, I have another matter to discuss with you." Erwin looked serious still, so I sat back down.

"What is it, sir?"

"How is the healing process, are you fit to get your gear back?" I looked at Erwin, who was concerned and conflicted. He had to be a Commander when he considered who to take and who not to take on these missions. Unnecessary casualties were something to avoid to preserve humanity, but at the same time he could not pull his personal feelings away from the matter. I sympathized, in a way, because I constantly had to do the same with my siblings, who were always in my team with the exception of Kai, who now had her own.

"The doctor expects me to have full capability for gear in a month, just in time for the mission, sir."

"Good. Then I have no choice but to tell you that you need to assemble a new team. Pick wisely, Captain." He looked upset, and I decided to screw formalities. I got up out of my seat and walked over to him, leaning over him as he sat and kissed him, and his response was the same needy and wanting feeling I got from him in the forest, before. He pulled from the kiss and looked me in the eyes as he pulled me onto his lap,. He decided to rest his head on my shoulder and bury his face in my hair. "Promise me nothing will happen to you, if you go. I can't lose you." I felt a lump in my throat, can I promise such a thing? This unbeatable and mighty Commander was breaking down in my arms, nothing more than a man needing love. Was that what this was, love?

"Erwin... I can't promise you nothing will happen to me." He looked up at me, solemn and nodded only a little. I kissed him lightly on the forehead. "But I can promise you I won't die." I have too many people needing me to live; My family, my friends, and now Erwin. The certainty in my voice was obviously enough for him, because he leaned over to my neck and started to kiss me again, but it was more intense this time. It felt like he was searching for some kind of confirmation from me, and I put up no kind of resistance. I knew where this was going and I wanted to know as much as he did. Does he love me? I loved him more than I could bear...

"Alright, let's work on your hand to hand." No one wore their uniforms today, per my request. It was all tanks, half shirts, and baggy shorts; the kind of clothes you're free to move around in. The best way to get to know which Cadets you want in your team, in my mind, is to fight them a bit. I had some senior officers, like Hanji, Levi, Mike, Erd, Petra, and Kai going around and pairing off with random Cadets. I think Levi was intentionally picking on that poor Eren kid, but I didn't say anything about it until I saw that Mikasa was going to try and kick his ass. If she could do that, I would dub her a Captain right here and now.

"Oi, Levi." I waved over at him, I knew what I was getting myself into, and literally everyone dropped what they were doing as Levi walked up to me.

"You really want to try this again? We got no where last time." His calm demeanor made all the Cadets think he was Apathetic, but I could tell he wanted a rematch. He never liked leaving it at a draw. He looked me over, the wounds at my back were healed enough to remove stitches but probably couldn't take too much, and I knew he was worried about that.

"Don't worry about it, if something happens and I can't continue, I will tell you so." I held my hands up a little in some sort of mock surrender, and he put his fists out ready to fight. From the corner of my eye I could see Erwin walking our way, and hoped that he wouldn't make a scene if I got hurt. I held my fist out, showing I was ready. We stared each other down for half a second before Levi lunged forward and aimed for my ribs. I slapped his punches away and kneed him him in the chest. He coughed a little, and I realized that I might have hit him too hard. With a quick turn, he delivered a kick to my right shoulder, sending me flying back. I landed on my hands and feet, looking up to see him run at me.

I quickly rolled to the side and swung out my foot, making him fall to the floor. There was a loud "Ooooh" from the crowd of Cadets, making me smile just a little. I was up on my feet just when Levi decided to jump up, angling his elbows so that he could get me in a headlock, which unfortunately worked. He flipped me over his shoulder and slammed me down to the ground on my back. I heard Erwin, Kai, and Petra yell out for me. The fall was enough to get my back to erupt in pain, but at this point I was getting a little angry so I decided not to give up. I got up to my feet and took advantage of Levi hesitating, grabbing him arm, pushing him onto his back and gripping his arm into a lock. I heard someone mention blood in the crowd. Crap, was I bleeding again? Levi couldn't get out of the lock, and decided to tap out. I let him go and got to my feet, offering my hand to help him up.

When he got to his feet, he rubbed his shoulder. "Maybe I shouldn't have spent so much time sparring with you when you were a Cadet." I smiled. That was just Levi's way of telling you he was proud of you.

"Thanks for not going easy on me, Levi"

"Never." If Levi could smile, he would be now. I looked at all the awed faces of the Cadets and laughed a little. Before I could continue with training, Erwin yelled.

"Captain Grimm!" My heart dropped, he was furious! When he walked up to me, the Cadets and I saluted him. "Just because you got your stitches out, doesn't mean you can be reckless. You could get hurt again and endanger our next mission!" Was he really yelling at me? The only thing that got hurt was my hand, and it was the one I landed on a little rock when Levi slammed me down. There was nothing serious about a scrape on your hand, and I was starting to get pissed off that he was yelling at me, especially in front of the Cadets.

"There is nothing a cut on the hand could endanger in our mission, sir!" There was a gasp from behind me, and I glared up at him, hoping he would get the idea that we should talk about this later. It took him a minute, but thank the cosmic power, he got it. In fact, he looked nearly embarassed of himself.

"Very well Captain. Carry on." He walked away, nearly speed walking back inside, and I'm assuming, in his office. I sighed and looked at the Cadets, who probably didn't know what to think about what had just happened.

"Alright guys, that's it for the day. We'll pick it back up tomorrow." I let down my ponytail and ran my fingers through my hair, everyone left except for Kai and Hanji, who walked up to me.

"Oi, Hanji, you've known him longer. What did I do wrong?" I looked over at her and she just shrugged.

"As far as I know, you were doing what you normally do when we get Cadets. Except this time you actually got the better of Levi." We both laughed a little.

"Only because he hesitated when I landed on my back." I looked over at Kai, who seemed distracted by one of the Cadets. "What's his name, Kai?"

"Jean Ki- wait, who?" She blushed a little and Hanji and I stared at her in disbelief. Then we started laughing hysterically, linking hands and dancing around her.

"Kai's got a crush, Kai's got a crush!"

"Stop it, not funny guys!" Kai smiled in spite of what she said, throwing her hands up in frustration and walking off. Hanji looked at me.

"Alright, what's so secret that you didn't want Kai to hear?" I raised an eyebrow. Damn, Hanji knows me well. I sighed, and blushed a little remembering the event. Hanji caught on without me saying a thing.

"You didn't! With the Com... You dirty girl!" Hanji gave me a hug, then got nose to nose with me with this weird look on her face. "Was he b-"

"Don't ask me that, I won't answer."

"You wouldn't even know!"

"Then why did you ask?"

"Alright, Asta, I won't ask anything else. But if you need anything just lemme know." She looked at my tummy. I put my hands over it, and looked at her surprised.

"No way!"

"It could happen~!" Hanji skipped off and I rubbed my temples. That woman is an odd one. I looked up at the window into the Commander's office and saw Erwin looking at me. It was probably a good idea to talk about what just

happened...


End file.
